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What Every Team Needs

A must have for every team…………………………….

A great quarterback? Obviously. A strong head coach with the support of the front office? Again, yes! Anyone can make the obvious connection between a strong defense and playoff football success. We all know battles are won in the trenches. It is also cliché to say that teams that put pressure on the quarterback and have shot down corners have a distinct advantage.

The key ingredient that everyone seems to be overlooking is the power that the long-haired dudes possess. You need look no further than the two teams in the Super Bowl for text book examples of the crazy-haired dude phenomena. Case in point, the Pittsburgh Steelers.

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Top: Troy Polamalu (exaggerated)

Right: Brett Keisel (semi exaggerated)

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Are you kidding me? How can they not win and be nasty with dudes like that? Ok, so we took an embellished view of Troy’s locks but there is no denying the man brings it. As for Keisel, we all remember seeing him in the playoffs with his beard all covered in icicles, steam coming out of everywhere. That’s a football player baby!

How about the Super Bowl champs you ask? These guys have got the winning formula. They have the current poster boy for long hair in superstar linebacker, Clay Mathews Jr. To boot they’ve got a bunch of guys in the secondary with dread’s hanging out the back of their helmets that are picking the ball off left and right. Throw in the big hitter in the middle, A.J. Hawk and they are loaded with hair!

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Above: Clay Mathews Jr.

Top Left: A.J. Hawk

Left: Tramon Williams

Now just because a dude has a long head of hair does not ensure success on the football field. Look no further than Big D for two long-haired enigmas.

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Bobby Carpenter

Marion Barber III

When the Cowboys drafted Carpenter in the first round they thought they were getting another Ohio State stud linebacker. What they got was the soft version of Clay Mathews. His teammates gave him the affectionate nickname of “Barbie” Carpenter & then he was traded. What happened to MBIII? Here’s the equation: Hard running when you’re hungry and underpaid — fat contract — aging = 3.3 yards per carry. He’ll more than likely be looking for work elsewhere next season. He plays more like Marian the “Librarian” than the “Barbarian”.

With the draft fast approaching here are five long haired dudes to keep your eye on:

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Gabe Carimi

OT Wisconsin

Carimi gets 2 pictures because he has the wild Brett Keisel look and the straight- laced psycho look. This guy is big, mean and ready for a bar fight.

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Phil Taylor

DT, Baylor

Are you kidding me? Is that a mug shot or his school promo photo? This dude is a beast. He will literally eat you for lunch. If you’re a kid in the playground he will eat your lunch!!!

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Casey Mathews

ILB, Oregon

Not the flashy pass rusher his brother is, but he is tough, a sure tackler and will be a fixture inside for some lucky team come the 2011 season. Did Katz die after that hit?

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Brooks Reed

OLB, Arizona

A bit of a DE/OLB tweener, but he’s a great pass rusher, who is rising up draft boards based on his combine workout and his non stop motor. Tell me he doesn’t look crazy.

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Charlie Sheen

University

of Crazy

Who better? Ok, he doesn’t have long hair, but look at those eyes! You saw him as Wild Thing, he’s got game! Even if never sees the field he can set up the new “White House” like the Boys had back in the day.

Duh, winning!

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  1. SHOOTING says:

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